Your probably doubting that two words could make a big difference in your relationship. Thank You are two of the most powerful words that can improve your relationship immediately. I challenge you to give it a try you will see improvements.
The power of Thank You
People who feel more appreciated by their partners have happier relationships, according to a study at the University of Georgia. Sounds simple and it’s not rocket science. Not that we need proof but this study showed that when you feel valued, you’re likely to be more engaged in the relationship.
We all want to feel appreciated by the people in our lives. It makes our sacrifices not feel as hard when we know they will be appreciated. You are more likely to give more to your relationship when you know your partner will appreciate it. On the other hand, it is harder to want to give more to the relationship when it goes unnoticed and ignored.
Your partner chooses daily to be in a relationship with you. Vice versa, you choose daily to be in a relationship with your partner. Have you ever thought about it this way?
If not, wake up, and realize that they don’t have to remain with you for the rest of your life so don’t take them for granted.
Be more aware when they do something thoughtful or helpful, regardless of how small it may be. Size doesn’t matter especially with how you say Thank You. Often times, the smallest actions mean the most.
Two Steps to Improve Your Relationship
Pay attention to what your partner does on a daily basis that your grateful for. You have to start somewhere so start to become more aware of the actions they take.
- They take the trash out because you hate to do it.
- They ask you if you need any help cooking dinner.
- They spend time with your family even though you had to ask.
- They pick up your favorite snack at the grocery store without you asking.
- They pump gas into the car at the gas station so you don’t have to.
These are just a few examples of small actions that you may take for granted because you think your partner “should” be doing these things. If you are using “should” in your thought process then change it immediately.
You are only creating demands and unrealistic expectations, which will lead you to disappointment. More on how to stop the “should” statements in a future post.
You won’t be able to give a Thank You if you don’t pay attention to what your grateful for.
Just do it! Doing something for your partner because they did something for you is a great way to show gratitude. However, words are really important whether they are spoken or written.
Here are a few examples:
- Thank You (sounds simple, but many people choose not to say it)
- Thank you for…
- Thanks for being so…
- I’m grateful because you…
- I love it when you…
- I’m lucky to have you because…
- I’m glad your different than __________’s partner because…
Remember, each of us are different, so take notice of how your partner likes to receive gratitude. Is it by you taking an action, words, gifts, or another way? This is key to knowing your partner. It’s not about how we like to give gratitude, but how they like to receive it.
How do you show gratitude to your partner or the person in your life you care about? Feel free to share any that you think would be helpful for others to know in the comment section below.
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Dr. Kristie specializes in sex therapy, relationships, and transgender identities.