Everyday I get the opportunity to spend time with beautiful people. My clients give me the gift of joining them through self-discovery. I learn something new about myself everyday through others experiences.
Let’s face it, who would really turn down the possibility of becoming more attractive and the ability to improve their life? Here are 3 tips to help you do it!
1. Show confidence even when you don’t feel it
Sounds like a no brainer, right? But the reality is that it is difficult to show confidence when you feel that your self-esteem is at an all time low. I’m not telling you that you have to live the rest of your life faking it until you make it, but in reality, it can help improve your how you feel about yourself to show confidence even when you don’t feel it.
Of course, you’re not going to feel confident all the time that would be impossible. You have permission to not have an unrealistic expectation of yourself. We are all a work in progress. Remember your trying to begin and maintain confidence more days than not.
Showing confidence in yourself and situations that you’re faced with does make you a more attractive person. It shows that you are secure with yourself. An emotionally healthy person doesn’t enjoy being around someone who finds themselves unattractive with zero confidence.
Your not looking to improve yourself for others since you will be the one to benefit from showing confidence but it isn’t a bad thing that others benefit from your positive changes as well.
Fix it Now
Start by scaling your confidence on range from 1-10 with 1 meaning that you have very little confidence and 10 being that your confidence is at an all time high. No one can be at a 0 confidence level or they wouldn’t be able to get through the day.
Our confidence fluctuates throughout the day because we have different experiences and situations. There are areas of your life that you feel more confident in so make sure that you are giving credit where credit is due and move up to a higher number on your scale.
2. Shine out what you want to get back
Shine out what you want to get back is a simple way to be more attractive. The idea of “shine” may sound a bit weird but think of it like this. You want to show others what you actually want back.
For example, showing confidence, a positive outlook, self-respect, self-esteem, and overall good vibes is the best chance you have at getting that back in return from a relationship or friendship.
I’m not delusional to tell you that just by shining out what you want back it will come because you have to stay healthy and identify what you want and don’t want in your life. It’s still your responsibility to let in and take out people in your life that are negative.
If you are only shining out negatives, low self-esteem, and shame it isn’t surprising that people with similar characteristics are who you are attracting to your life.
Fix it Now
Take an inventory of the people that you have in your life, including relationships, family, work, and acquaintances.
Overall are most of these people benefiting you or hurting you. Are you attracting people to your life that are negative, hurtful, or not on the same path as you?
It’s hard to look in the mirror and have an honest conversation with yourself because you are responsible for these types of people being in your life. We didn’t choose the family we were born into, but we do have the right to set boundaries with those that aren’t healthy.
People change and may appear good in the beginning, then turn out to be unhealthy, which means you will need to set boundaries about how much power you give them in your relationship.
3. Always work toward a goal
When was the last time you saw someone who had no goals and found them to be an attractive person?
Always work toward a goal, it doesn’t matter how big or small the goal is just keeping your eyes on the prize of accomplishing it. Having goals and doing the work to get there shows that you believe in yourself. It shows that you deserve to accomplish your goals.
Persistence, hard work, and discipline are all characteristics that are desirable to self and others.
Fix it Now
Grab a sheet of paper and make a list of all of the goals you want to accomplish, no matter how big or small. Look at this list you created and separate long-term versus short-term goals.
For your short-term goals, pick one or two you can get accomplished in the next day or so. In the long-term list, break each one down into small goals to make them easier to tackle.
The action that you take by working towards your goals will increase your confidence that you’re making forward movement.
A person without goals isn’t desirable whether it’s in a relationship or friendship. Keep working toward a goal for yourself first, and then those around you will benefit from your self-improvement.
Take Action Now
Take the challenge to try these 3 tips to be a more attractive person for yourself and see improvements in your life. Show confidence, shine out what you want back, and keep working toward a goal. By doing these, you can’t help but feel better about yourself!
What things do you do to feel more attractive as a person?
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Dr. Kristie specializes in sex therapy, relationships, and transgender identities.