As a therapist for over a decade, I am privileged to see a lot of human behavior. I like to think of it as the good, the bad, and the ugly. I have the opportunity to hear people’s darkest secrets and dirty laundry that often no one else will ever know. This is a gift from my clients that I don’t take lightly and cherish the confidential nature of our relationship.
It is in these times that I’m able to build trust with my clients and I’m here for them as a sounding board. However, many of my clients have a hard time being honest with them.
The idea of being honest with yourself can be terrifying. Think about it, if you have to be honest that means you may have to change and it’s easier to avoid your truth.
To change this current behavior and get honest you will need to figure out what excuses you are using.
Here are 3 great excuses to not be honest with yourself.
1. “I’m too busy to stop and take care of myself.”
You have so many things in life that demands your attention or people who demand your time. You think that there will be time in the future to take care of yourself. No one has time and everyone is busy.
We all get 24 hours in a day no more and no less. It’s all about what you prioritize and find important. As you’re busy taking care of everyone else, please remember, if you don’t stay healthy you won’t be able to care for others.
2. “I’m not ready to make any major life decisions right now.”
It’s time to get honest with you. Are you really not ready to make the big life change such as ending a relationship, finding a new job, or ending an unhealthy friendship?
Or are you fearful of having to make the change?
It’s your responsibility to figure out if you are giving in to fear. You can work through this fear. Think about other challenges you have tackled in your life. You have probably done harder things. You can do this one.
3. “I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.”
Stop assuming that someone’s feelings will be hurt if you are honest with yourself. Your goal needs to be to get honest with yourself and live your life authentically. If someone is hurt by this, that is their responsibility to heal and repair, not yours.
This isn’t an excuse to shoot off at the mouth and say whatever you want; however you want. You have to be honest with yourself and stop worrying how someone will react to it.
Take a hard look in the mirror and make your goal to be honest with yourself, no matter what. Stop blaming others, situations, or life circumstances.
Get honest with yourself…it’s worth it. Your happiness depends on it.
If you’re still struggling remember this quote by Tony Gaskins, Jr.
“The only people mad at you for speaking the truth are those living a lie. Keep speaking it.”
Are there any other excuses to not be honest with yourself? Feel free to share any that you think would be helpful for others to know in the comment section below.
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Dr. Kristie specializes in sex therapy, relationships, and transgender identities.