How to prove to yourself that you are good enough?
No one feels that they are on top of the world all the time. Wait, back up, maybe some people do who are on a mind-altering substance or severely narcissistic. For the rest of us, trying to stay positive about ourselves on a daily basis isn’t an easy task. Some people have spent years beating themselves up or have allowed others to beat them down. So it’s no big surprise that we as humans often think that we’re just not good enough.
As a sex therapist, I find that most people’s internal dialogue or what they tell themselves about themselves is often harsher than what others have told them. Being your own worst critic is a job that most people gladly take on and don’t even realize it. Believing the negative recording that loops through your head on a daily basis destroys both your spirit and soul.
Really think about it…
You already spend enough time beating yourself up in your own head. The hardest part of changing negative self-talk is actually challenging it. I challenge you, right now to write out your answers to the questions below.
-When did this type of thinking start?
-When did you start thinking that you were a bad person?
-Think back to your life as a kid. Were you happy more days than not?
-As you think about today, what evidence or proof do you have that you aren’t good enough?
-If you did feel you were a good enough person what would it look like? How would you feel? How would your life be different?
-How will you know that you are good enough? What will that look like to you? How would it look to others?
-Can you identify 5 things that are positive or that you like about yourself?
Now, look back at your answers. What do you see? Are you starting to see that your spending most of your time in your own head proving to yourself just how much of a bad person you are?
Don’t worry, it’s normal. However, when you have low self-esteem or a negative image of yourself it affects many areas of your life. Relationships, friendships, career, and even family are affected by how we see ourselves. As a reminder, we don’t change for the better for anyone else but ourselves, however, others will also benefit from positive changes we make.
How can we expect others to be good to us when we don’t do it for ourselves first? Motivation to be good to ourselves doesn’t come naturally or daily so it takes work. I challenge you to take an active role in your life to find out what makes you feel good about you. Everyone is different, so what works for your best friend may not have an affect on you.
Remember, you are amazing, beautiful, and worthy of love…but you have to start by giving it to yourself first!
Are you a female and ready to stop ruining your relationships?