3 Tips to Be More Attractive and Improve Your Life
Everyday I get the opportunity to spend time with beautiful people. My clients give me the gift of joining them through self-discovery. I learn something new about myself everyday through others experiences.
Let’s face it, who would really turn down the possibility of becoming more attractive and the ability to improve their life? Here are 3 tips to help you do it!
1. Show confidence even when you don’t feel it
Sounds like a no brainer, right? But the reality is that it is difficult to show confidence when you feel that your self-esteem is at an all time low. I’m not telling you that you have to live the rest of your life faking it until you make it, but in reality, it can help improve your how you feel about yourself to show confidence even when you don’t feel it.
Of course, you’re not going to feel confident all the time that would be impossible. You have permission to not have an unrealistic expectation of yourself. We are all a work in progress. Remember your trying to begin and maintain confidence more days than not.
Showing confidence in yourself and situations that you’re faced with does make you a more attractive person. It shows that you are secure with yourself. An emotionally healthy person doesn’t enjoy being around someone who finds themselves unattractive with zero confidence.
Your not looking to improve yourself for others since you will be the one to benefit from showing confidence but it isn’t a bad thing that others benefit from your positive changes as well.
Fix it Now
Start by scaling your confidence on range from 1-10 with 1 meaning that you have very little confidence and 10 being that your confidence is at an all time high. No one can be at a 0 confidence level or they wouldn’t be able to get through the day.
Our confidence fluctuates throughout the day because we have different experiences and situations. There are areas of your life that you feel more confident in so make sure that you are giving credit where credit is due and move up to a higher number on your scale.
2. Shine out what you want to get back
Shine out what you want to get back is a simple way to be more attractive. The idea of “shine” may sound a bit weird but think of it like this. You want to show others what you actually want back.
For example, showing confidence, a positive outlook, self-respect, self-esteem, and overall good vibes is the best chance you have at getting that back in return from a relationship or friendship.
I’m not delusional to tell you that just by shining out what you want back it will come because you have to stay healthy and identify what you want and don’t want in your life. It’s still your responsibility to let in and take out people in your life that are negative.
If you are only shining out negatives, low self-esteem, and shame it isn’t surprising that people with similar characteristics are who you are attracting to your life.
Fix it Now
Take an inventory of the people that you have in your life, including relationships, family, work, and acquaintances.
Overall are most of these people benefiting you or hurting you. Are you attracting people to your life that are negative, hurtful, or not on the same path as you?
It’s hard to look in the mirror and have an honest conversation with yourself because you are responsible for these types of people being in your life. We didn’t choose the family we were born into, but we do have the right to set boundaries with those that aren’t healthy.
People change and may appear good in the beginning, then turn out to be unhealthy, which means you will need to set boundaries about how much power you give them in your relationship.
3. Always work toward a goal
When was the last time you saw someone who had no goals and found them to be an attractive person?
Always work toward a goal, it doesn’t matter how big or small the goal is just keeping your eyes on the prize of accomplishing it.
Having goals and doing the work to get there shows that you believe in yourself. It shows that you deserve to accomplish your goals.
Persistence, hard work, and discipline are all characteristics that are desirable to self and others.
Fix it Now
Grab a sheet of paper and make a list of all of the goals you want to accomplish, no matter how big or small.
Look at this list you created and separate long-term versus short-term goals.
For your short-term goals, pick one or two you can get accomplished in the next day or so. In the long-term list, break each one down into small goals to make them easier to tackle.
The action that you take by working towards your goals will increase your confidence that you’re making forward movement.
A person without goals isn’t desirable whether it’s in a relationship or friendship. Keep working toward a goal for yourself first, and then those around you will benefit from your self-improvement.
Take Action Now
Take the challenge to try these 3 tips to be a more attractive person for yourself and see improvements in your life.
Show confidence, shine out what you want back, and keep working toward a goal. By doing these, you can’t help but feel better about yourself!
What things do you do to feel more attractive as a person?
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Do you have a hard time saying “No” when people ask something of you?
Do you wish that it were easier to say “No” to people?
Think you’re the only one who gets irritated when someone asks something of you and you feel compelled to say, “Yes”.
Please know that you’re not the only one who feels this way.
Once you get a better understanding of why you did this you will have an easier time saying “No”.
Top 3 reasons why you struggle with saying "No"
1. Fearful of how others will react.
What will people say about me?
Will they think I’m being selfish or mean?
You don’t want to feel “guilty” for not helping out.
If your too concerned over judgment from others or how someone will perceive you then you will want to start by asking yourself the following question.
“What’s the worst thing that can happen if I say No?”
How likely is it that the other person will tell you how selfish you are?
Or that you should feel guilty for not helping out.
More than likely there is very little chance this will happen. If it does, oh well, you’ll work through it with the confidence that you did what was right for you.
If you continue to give this amount of weight to what others say or think about you then you will continue to be locked in unhappiness but at least you were nice to them.
2. It’s easier to be passive or passive aggressive.
It doesn’t take much work to avoid saying “No”.
Saying, “Yes” to everything is easy…at least until you realize that your exhausted and irritated.
Being passive would be saying “Yes” to a request and then feeling resentful or angry at the person for asking.
Being passive aggressive would be saying “Yes” to a request but then gossiping about the person, rolling your eyes when they turn around, or thinking of a way to make them pay for asking your help.
It would be much harder to be assertive, by saying “No” and give a reason or not, you have the option. Most people don’t realize this that there is an option.
If you risk being assertive, you actually have a chance at achieving happiness or increased self-esteem.
3. You get something out of being frustrated, mad, or however you feel after you say “Yes, Yes, Yes”.
Sounds ridiculous right?
Some people are comfortable being uncomfortable, so avoiding change is the easier route.
So what are you actually getting out of being a “Yes” person?
In your mind your getting the satisfaction that your being nice and not feeling guilty. Ask yourself…If I’m not getting something out of this why am I doing it?
How to say “No” to those who make request of your time or are too needy.
When did we as a society make the word “No” such a bad thing?
Think about it, we are suppose to be wiling and able to help others. Also to avoid at all cost anything that looks like narcissism, having a big ego, or focusing on yourself.
Asserting yourself and what you are willing or not willing to do has nothing to do with being self-centered.
It has everything to do with being honest with you. If you can’t be honest with yourself who can you truly be honest with?
Try these 3 ways to say “No”
1. Stop and think quickly
You will likely want to stop and think if you want to say “No”. Many people automatically say “Yes” to people without fully thinking about it.
Maybe you feel pressured to give an answer when asked a question. One option is to say, “Let me think about it” or “I will need to check my calendar and get back to you.”
2. If you have an idea of what they may ask be ready ahead of time
Sometimes you may expect or anticipate that you may be asked for something.
For example, if you expect that you will be asked to volunteer at an event that you don’t want to attend. If you know that you don’t want to do something, go ahead and say “No, I’m not able to but thanks for asking” or “No, I don’t have the ability to make that happen.”
When being direct and to the point you may be surprised at the reaction you get.
You will likely here one of these responses, but keep in mind this isn’t an extensive list because people are very creative when they want something.
-Okay no problem
-They will ask again in hope they can change your mind
-They plead with you and try to force you to say “Yes”
Just remember to be firm and clear because you have the right to say “No”.
3. Say “No” and a follow up
After saying “No” to the person, try a good follow up.
Here are a few examples:
-“No, I can’t pick the kids up that day from school but maybe I can pick them up the next time.”
-“No, I can’t make it to company party but I would be happy to stay later that day to help set up.”
-“No, we can’t make it to your dinner party but maybe we can plan another time to get together. “
There are very few if any benefits to being a people pleaser and learning to say “No” when you don’t want to do something can be a huge self-confidence boost.
Do you have any examples of when it felt good to say “No”?
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Are you a female and ready to stop ruining your relationships?